... except there's no backstage

The Commencement Address

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:54:24 +1000

Some people have asked to read the commencement address I delivered this morning to the 2013 graduates of Butler University. So here it is.

My own commencement speaker, who shall remain nameless, began with a lame joke about how these speeches only come in two varieties: Short and bad. This raised my expectations, and then he went onto speak for 26 minutes, so I’m just going to tell you now: 12 minutes flat, 11:45 if you don’t laugh.

Congratulations to all of you here today, and I do mean all of you—parents, families, friends, professors, coaches. Every single person in Hinkle today has given something to make this moment possible for the class of 2013—well, except for me. I really just showed up and put on the robe.

But special congratulations to you graduates. Before we get to the Life Advice You’ll Soon Forget portion of the program, I want to engage in a time-honored tradition of American commencement addresses: Stealing from other commencement addresses, in this case one by the children’s television host Fred Rogers. Think, if you will, of some of the people who helped get you to today, people who’ve loved you and without whose care and generosity you might not have found yourself here, graduating from Butler, or watching someone you love graduate, or seeing your students graduate. Think for one minute of those who have loved you up into this day. I’ll keep the time.

(1 minute of silence)

Those people are so proud of you today.

We will return to those people soon, but first I have to deliver terrible news, which is that you are all going to die. This is another time-honored tradition of American celebration, the Raining on the Parade. I remember when I got married, the priest devoted most of his homily to telling me how challenging and laborious marriage would be, and I kept thinking, “Well, sure, but can’t we talk about that, like, TOMORROW?” But no, it simply cannot wait. You are going to die. Also everything you ever make and think and experience will be washed away by the sands of time, and the Sun will blow up and no one will remember Cleopatra ruling Egypt or Crick and Watson untangling the structure of DNA or Ptolemy fathoming the stars or even that improbably wonderful Gonzaga game.

So that’s unfortunate.

But I would argue that it’s good to be aware of temporariness when you are thinking about what you want to do with your life. The whole idea of this commencement speech is that I’m supposed to offer you some thoughts on how you might live a good life out there in the so-called Real World, which by the way I assure you is no more or less real than the one in which you have so far found yourselves. But I can’t give any advice about how to live a good life unless and until we establish what constitutes a good life. Of course, that’s much of what you’ve been up to for the past four years, and I’m not going to swoop in here at the end with any interesting revelations. I would just note that the default assumption is that the point of human life is to be as successful as possible, to acquire lots of fame or glory or money as defined by quantifiable metrics: number of twitter followers, or facebook friends, or dollars in one’s 401k.

This is the hero’s journey, right? The hero starts out with no money and ends up with a lot of it, or starts out an ugly duckling and becomes a beautiful swan, or starts out an awwkard girl and becomes a vampire mother, or grows up an orphan living under the staircase and then becomes the wizard who saves the world. We are taught that the hero’s journey is the journey from weakness to strength. But I am here today to tell you that those stories are wrong. The real hero’s journey is the journey from strength to weakness.

And here is the good news nested inside the bad: Many of you, most of you, are about to make that journey. You will go from being the best-informed, most engaged students at one of the finest universities around to being the person who brings coffee to people, or a Steak n Shake waiter, as I once was. Whether you’re a basketball player or a pharmacist or a software designer, you’re about to be a rookie. Your parents’ long-asked questions—what exactly does one DO with a degree in anthropology—will become a matter of sudden and profound relevance. Your student loans will come due and you will need a very good answer for why exactly you went to college, which answer you will have a hard time coming by as you sit at your job, provided you are lucky enough to find a job, and suffer the indignity of people calling you by the wrong name or, if you are forced to wear a name tag, people calling you by the right name too often.

That is the true hero’s errand—strength to weakness. And because you went to college, you will be more alive to the experience, better able to contextualize it and maybe even find the joy and wonder hidden amid the dehumanizing drudgery. For example, when I was a data entry professional, I would often call to mind William Faulkner’s brilliant letter of resignation from the United States Postal Service, which went:

As long as I live under the capitalistic system, I expect to have my life influenced by the demands of moneyed people. But I will be damned if I propose to be at the beck and call of every itinerant scoundrel who has two cents to invest in a postage stamp. This, sir, is my resignation. William Faulkner.

Having read that letter in a Faulkner biography in college had nothing to do with my job typing numbers into a database, but it was still profoundly useful to me. Education provides context and comfort and access, no matter the relationship between your field of study and your post-collegiate life.

But still, you are probably going to be a nobody for a while. You are going to make that journey from strength to weakness, and while it won’t be an easy trip, it is a heroic one. For in learning how to be a nobody, you will learn how not to be a jerk. And for the rest of your life, if you are able to remember your hero’s journey from college grad to underling, you will be less of a jerk. You will tip well. You will empathize. You will be a mentor, and a generous one. In short, you will become like the people you imagined in silence a few minutes ago.

Let me submit to you that this is the actual definition of a good life. You want to be the kind of person who other people—people who may not even born yet—will think about in their own silences years from now at their own commencements. I am going to hazard a guess that relatively few of us closed our eyes and thought of all the work and love that Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber put into making this moment possible for us. We may be taught that the people to admire and emulate are actors and musicians and sports heroes and professionally famous people, but when we look at the people who have helped us, the people who actually change actual lives, relatively few of them are publicly celebrated. We do not think of the money they had, but of their generosity. We do not think of how beautiful or powerful they were, but how willing they were to sacrifice for us—so willing, at times, that we might not have even noticed that they were making sacrifices.

So with that in mind, I’d like to share a few pieces of what I believe to be rock solid advice about proper adulthood or whatever:

First, do not worry too much about your lawn. You will soon find if you haven’t already that almost every adult American devotes tremendous time and money to the maintenance of an invasive plant species called turf grass that we can’t eat. I encourage you to choose better obsessions.

Also, you may have heard that it is better to burn out than it is to fade away. That is ridiculous. It is much better to fade away. Always. Fade. Away.

Keep reading. Specifically, read my books, ideally in hardcover. But also keep reading other books. You have probably figured out by now that education is not really about grades or getting a job; it’s primarily about becoming a more aware and engaged observer of the universe. If that ends with college, you’re rather wasting your one and only known chance at consciousness.

Also a word about the Internet: Old people like myself are terrified by their ignorance of it, which you can and should use to your advantage by saying things at your job like, “You don’t have a tumblr? Oh you should really have a tumblr. I can set you up with that.”

Try not to worry so much about what you are going to do with your life. You are already doing what you are going to do with your life, and judging by your gownedness, you’re doing all right.

On that topic, there are many more jobs out there than you have ever heard of. Your dream job might not yet exist. If you had told College Me that I would become a professional YouTuber, I would’ve been like, “That is not a word, and it never should be.”

And lastly, be vigilant in the struggle toward empathy. A couple years after I graduated from college, I was living in an apartment in Chicago with four friends, one of whom was this Kuwaiti guy named Hassan, and when the U.S. invaded Iraq, Hassan lost touch with his family, who lived on the border, for six weeks. He responded to this stress by watching cable news coverage of the war 24 hours a day. So the only way to hang out with Hassan was to sit on the couch with him, and so one day we were watching the news and the anchor was like, “We’re getting new footage from the city of Baghdad,” and a camera panned across a house that had a huge hole in one wall covered by a piece of plywood. On the plywood was Arabic graffiti scrawled in black spraypaint, and as the news anchor talked about the anger on the Arab street or whatever, Hassan started laughing for the first time in several weeks.

“What’s so funny?” I asked him.

“The graffiti,” he said.

“What’s funny about it?”

“It says, Happy Birthday, Sir, Despite the Circumstances.”

For the rest of your life, you are going to have a choice about how to read graffiti in a language you do not know, and you will have a choice about how to read the actions and intonations of the people you meet. I would encourage you as often as possible to consider the Happy Birthday Sir Despite the Circumstances possibility, the possibility that the lives and experiences of others are as complex and unpredictable as your own, that other people—be they family or strangers, near or far—are not simply one thing or the other—not simply good or evil or wise or ignorant—but that they like you contain multitudes, to borrow a phrase from the great Walt Whitman.

This is difficult to do—it is difficult to remember that people with lives different and distant from your own even celebrate birthdays, let alone with gifts of graffitied plywood. You will always be stuck inside of your body, with your consciousness, seeing through the world through your own eyes, but the gift and challenge of your education is to see others as they see themselves, to grapple with this mean and crazy and beautiful world in all its baffling complexity. We haven’t left you with the easiest path, I know, but I have every confidence in you, and I wish you a very happy graduation, despite the circumstances.

writing is safer, somehowbecause my pen cannot stutter like my lips do,and words get stuck in...

Tue, 07 May 2013 17:31:02 +1000

writing is safer, somehow
because my pen cannot stutter like my lips do,
and words get stuck in throats,
not fingertips, can’t stumble
on paper trails of blue lines
because writing is definite and clear
and no one can tell if i am crying
or laughing
through written words alone

iwishihadafather: i have never had so many emotions in my life...

Tue, 07 May 2013 17:26:19 +1000

iwishihadafather:

i have never had so many emotions in my life before right now

realhumanbaby: Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring...

Mon, 06 May 2013 17:14:02 +1000

realhumanbaby:

Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 17:08:59 +1000

lotr meme - nine characters (4/9) ↬ Samwise Gamgee “Do you...

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:51:44 +1000

lotr meme - nine characters (4/9) ↬ Samwise Gamgee
“Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It’ll be spring soon and the orchards will be in blossom, and the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And the whistle in the summer barley in the Lower fields. And eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?”

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:19:48 +1000

onecolorendsandonebegins: I was holding Kovu and talking to him about why he’s not allowed to go...

Mon, 06 May 2013 00:42:35 +1000

onecolorendsandonebegins:

I was holding Kovu and talking to him about why he’s not allowed to go outside any more cause he keeps disobeying me and he just lifts up his paw and puts it on my mouth, like “shut up mum, i don’t care”

Photo

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:02:30 +1000

u-stole-me-and-i-stole-u: BITCH, I SPENT LIKE 3 FUCKING HOURS...

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:02:21 +1000

u-stole-me-and-i-stole-u:

BITCH, I SPENT LIKE 3 FUCKING HOURS LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT FUCKING PHOTOS FOR THIS SHIT, FINDING THE PERFECT ASS QUOTE AND DOING ARTISTIC BULLSHIT AND THIS MOTHERFUCKING PICTURE ONLY GOT EIGHT FUCKING NOTES AM I SOME KIND OF JOKE TO YOU PEOPLE THIS PICTURE IS DEEP AS FUCK IT MOTHERFUCKING EXPRESSES MY FEELINGS ABOUT HOW THESE SHOWS, AND THEIR FANDOMS AND ALL THE PEOPLE THAT I FOLLOW AND FOLLOW ME ARE MORE LIKE FAMILY TO ME THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS BEEN, HOW THEY MAKE MY MOTHERFUCKING LIFE WORTH LIVING AND WHY I CAN EVEN MAKE MYSELF GET UP IN THE MORNING AND FACE ALL OF THE BULSHIT MY FAMILY DOES TO ME AND THE HARRASSMENT I FACE AT SCHOOL BECAUSE I KNOW I GET TO COME HOME AND BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND ME AND ACTUALY CARE FOR ME AND LIKE ME FOR ME I WAS SO ALONE I OWE YOU SO MUCH SO FOR MOTHERFUCKS SAKE I WANTED PEOPLE TO REBLOG THAT SHIT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE ON HERE ARE FACING THE SAME PROBLEM HOLY SHIT REBLOG THIS YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IM GETTING EMOTIONAL ATLEAST LIKE IT YOU DICKS

incomplete untitled klaine break-up fic; eventual kurtbastian (how I thought the break up would go after having watched 4x03)

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:35:58 +1000

Kurt felt dead inside. This wasn’t supposed to happen. All sorts of crap had happened to him, but not with Blaine. Never with Blaine.

Rachel was tiptoeing around him in the apartment. Normally he would be a bit annoyed at this, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care anymore.

He stared blankly at the photo of himself and Blaine in his phone next to Blaine’s contact. He willed Blaine to call. Please, please… this isn’t supposed to happen, not with us. Please realise this is all just a big mistake. I’m so sorry. I’ll do better next time. Just give me another chance.

The hours passed by silently and still no call, no text, nothing. Kurt would cry, but he didn’t think there were any tears left.

Kurt dropped the phone to the floor and rolled over, hugging the spare pillow. It wasn’t Blaine, but it was better than nothing. He needed something to hold, something, anything. His arms weren’t empty that night, but his heart was.

The next day, Kurt woke at noon. For one glorious minute when he woke up, he didn’t realise why his eyes hurt so much. Then it hit him. He had cried for hours yesterday, because… Blaine had broken up with him.

Rachel appeared to be a woman on a mission. She had made him toast and poured him some orange juice.

“I would have made you some pancakes or bacon or something, but you know what happened last time I tried to cook,” Rachel said lightly.

Kurt attempted a smile, but his eyes remained devoid of life.

Rachel laid out the jam and butter, an overly cheerful smile plastered to her face.

Kurt sipped at his orange juice.

“You really didn’t have to do all this, Rachel. I’m f-“

“Don’t even try to lie to me, Kurt Hummel. You are not fine.”

Kurt didn’t argue, and slumped limply in his chair, staring at his toast.

“Do you want to… talk about it?” Rachel said kindly.

“No.”

Rachel nodded, eating her own toast.

“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I just- Not yet. Talking about it makes it… real,” Kurt admitted.

“Mhmm. Well, if you change your mind…”

“You’ll be the first to know.”

“Blaine Anderson, you have some explaining to do. Kurt didn’t tell me anything,” Rachel whispered loudly into her phone.

“Look, Rachel. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“No, you’re telling me, alright. You just took my best friend’s heart and shattered it into a million pieces. I deserve an explanation.”

“Rachel, you know I’m not doing it to hurt him…”

“Well, news flash, that’s exactly what you did, so you better do some fast talking right about now.”

Blaine hesitated, wondering where to begin.

“You can start with why.”

“I- well, we- I just… I’m holding him back. I’m just the same old Blaine while he’s this new Kurt, with new experiences and new obligations. It would have happened eventually. I just did it before the pain would be drawn out even longer.”

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.”

“Maybe, but he doesn’t have time for me anymore. I’m just this extra responsibility that he doesn’t need.”

“You still love him, don’t you?”

“I-“ Blaine spluttered, taken aback. “… Of course I do.”

“And he loves you. That’s all that matters.”

“No, Rachel. You don’t understand.”

“No, Blaine. I think I do.”

“But you and Finn-“

“Are different. Completely different. Yes, he was my first love, but we’re different people now. It’s not the same.”

“Make this right, Blaine. Just, please. Kurt deserves better than this.”
Blaine sighed. “I’ll think about it.”
It was better than a no.
“Make it quick. Before it’s too late.”
~
Kurt didn’t go to work for three days. He didn’t call Isabelle, but Rachel assured him she had taken care of it and that Isabelle had understood and was fine with him taking a few days off.

Kurt moped around on the couch. Rachel had to go to class, but she was hesitant about leaving him alone.
“Just go. I’ll be fine, really. Don’t give Crazy July another reason to pick on you.”
Rachel still appeared unconvinced, but she did as he asked.
“Just… text me if you need anything, okay? I’ll check my phone in the break.”
Kurt nodded.
~
Kurt’s phone buzzed. It was Rachel.
‘You okay? What are you doing?’
He rolled his eyes. She was so worried about him.
‘Watching bad reality television. Are you on your break?’
‘Yeah, but I have to go soon. Ms July only gives us a 3 minute break in the whole 2 hours.’
‘Alright, see you when you get home.’
‘See you. x’

Kurt sighed. He still felt miserable. How was he supposed to continue with his life? Blaine was his soulmate. The only perfect thing in his life. And now, all that was gone.

His phone buzzed again. He expected it to be Rachel, but it wasn’t. It was Sebastian. Narrowing his eyes, Kurt opened the message.
‘Hey, are you okay? I heard about you and Blaine.’
It was suspiciously nice. Why wasn’t he taunting him or making crude remarks about what he could do with Blaine now that he was single?
‘I’m still in one piece, I guess. What’s it to you?’
‘I’m just concerned. I’ve seen what happens to friends after a long term relationship ends.’
‘Really, now. How… unlike you.’
‘;) I can be quite surprising, I think you’ll find.’
Was Sebastian flirting with him? He didn’t know how to reply. So he just wrote,
‘Okay. If you say so.’
‘Listen, do you want to go grab a few drinks?’
‘… Why?’
‘It’ll take your mind off things. Come on, my treat.’
Kurt stared, confused, at the screen. Why was Sebastian, of all people, being so nice to him?
He thought about his and Blaine’s time together. Everything had been perfect. Planned coffee dates. Scheduled make-out sessions. Rigid routines.
All of that, just for it to turn to crap.
Maybe he had to make some sort of change. Stop overthinking everything and go with the flow. Why the hell not? It wasn’t as if he had anything to lose. He texted back.
‘Alright. Just this once.’
Sebastian replied immediately with the details of where they were to meet, saying he would meet him there in 15 minutes.

Kurt looked down at his clothes, his only pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that had once belonged to his father.

He rushed to his room and threw on a fabulous outfit. His eyes were unattractively red, his face blotchy. He washed his face quickly and moisturised. He styled his hair into his usual coiffed style.

He looked into the mirror. On the outside, he almost looked normal. No sign of what was going on inside.

He tried a smile, but it looked fake. Shaking his head, he grabbed his wallet and phone and went out the door.

The bar Sebastian had suggested was about a 5 minute walk from the apartment.

On the way, he quickly shot off a text to Rachel, telling her where he was going.
She replied, telling him she was on the way back from NYADA, and to text her if Sebastian ended up bothering him.

Kurt arrived at the bar, a long line winding to the next block. He spotted Sebastian there, leaning against the brick wall.

“Hey,” Sebastian said, as soon as he noticed that Kurt had arrived.
“Hi.”
He shifted uncomfortably, not really knowing what to say next.

Photo

Sun, 05 May 2013 15:58:25 +1000

insertcleverusernamehere: ugh <3

Sun, 05 May 2013 15:52:27 +1000

insertcleverusernamehere:

ugh <3

"Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop..."

Sun, 05 May 2013 15:34:59 +1000

“Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?”

- Louise Flory (via stanalicious)

“Feeling confident in your own skin is so important. Embrace...

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:18:46 +1000

“Feeling confident in your own skin is so important. Embrace your strengths and be proud of who you are.”

doors are such a good invention -you can close bathroom doors so people don’t see you -you...

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:52:00 +1000

doors are such a good invention

-you can close bathroom doors so people don’t see you

-you can open doors to let air in

-you can close doors if you want to cry into your pillow

-you can even lock doors so people outside can’t come in

-they are like walls but openable

sophspiration: (Deep Tea Diver, Tea Duckie, Mr. Tea, Robot,...

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:31:02 +1000

sophspiration:

(Deep Tea Dive r, Tea Duckie, Mr. Tea, Robot, Plant pot, Yellow Submarine)

The leaves that go into tea bags are leaf fragments and tea dust, whereas loose leaf tea is comprised of whole leaves with all of their essential oils intact. This means that loose-leaf tea has more health benefits, as well as a superior taste.

It can also be cheaper in the long-run to buy loose-leaf tea! This is awesome because the money you save gives you an excuse to buy great novelty tea infusers like these.

They’re trying to protect me. But what they need to understand...

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:29:49 +1000

They’re trying to protect me. But what they need to understand is if I’m not being true to myself, at least when I’m performing, then there won’t be anything left inside me to protect.

marcusmb: why im doubting about continuing school.

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:26:08 +1000

marcusmb:

why im doubting about continuing school.

letsdothewave: brashblacknonbeliever: (Rebloggable by...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 21:20:53 +1000

letsdothewave:

brashblacknonbeliever:

(Rebloggable by request)

I’m reading this as a John Green fan, so if you’re going to immediately lump me into being mindless cult member, stop reading now. If you’d like to consider my point of view seriously, please keep reading. Sorry if I sound bitchy, but I’ve had way. too. many. people. on this site jump straight to insults and fights simply because of differing opinions. I do not insult the people I disagree with, I just want to have discussions. Please play nice. Okay, disclaimer done:

My problem with this anti-John Green flak is that it seems to be taken out of context. I may be wrong here, perhaps the dissenters have been exposed to a lot of his work (first hand, mind you, not through other people’s summaries), and have come to these conclusions - in which case their opinions are valid. I wouldn’t say correct (that’s just my opinion though) but they are valid. (And people on tumblr need to realize that people’s opinions can be valid even if they’re not your own.) But the overwhelming sense I get is one of ignorance. (Again, I may very well be wrong). I’ll try to only address what is mentioned in this “ask” because otherwise this will be a veeeeery long post.

-Sexual assault:
If anyone has ever felt threatened or uncomfortable, they should be allowed to voice their feelings. Undoubtedly. Their feelings are valid and important. HOWEVER, that does not give the right to automatically throw blame on the “perpetrator.” I doubt that the “stroking” was done with any malicious intent. That doesn’t excuse the fact that it happened, but it does explain the scenario as an honest mistake - which I hope would make it forgivable. If it were proven to have happened WITH malicious intent then feel free to castrate the bastard, but I don’t think that there’s definitive proof either way. Thus, we should attempt to take a neutral ground while defending both parties. No one needs to get hurt (emotionally or physically) or slandered because of miscommunication.

-Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope:
The entire point of Paper Towns is that this trope is wrong. The. Entire. Thing. John has said that the point of the book was to highlight the need to imagine other complexly (go watch the Carnegie Hall Evening of Awesome recording. I unfortunately do not have the time to sift through and find an exact quote).

Other non-“ask”-related things to note:

- The use of kafir in An Abundance of Katherines is tongue in cheek (much like the way that I will lovingly call my friend a bitch) and completely in character with the relationship between Colin and Hassan. John Green, also, has studied Islam extensively.

- HIS DEFENSE OF LACI GREEN IS ENTIRELY WARRANTED. NO PERSON SHOULD EVER RECEIVE DEATH THREATS. EVER.
If you ask me, Laci’s remarks were not even that terribly inflammatory. Granted, my beliefs resemble Laci’s so I am admittedly biased. But:

She has apologized for her use of “tranny” as she has since become more educated on the topic. Yes, I am *writing out the word* because I’m capable of being objective. The word exists. It is inflammatory. I do not use it in everyday speech and especially not as an insult. BUT. IT. EXISTS.
She has also acknowledged that pointing a finger specifically at Islam and The Latter Day Saints was unfair, and that sexism exists everywhere. The original statement was made from a position of negative personal experience with those specific groups. TO IGNORE HER EXPERIENCE IS JUST AS PREJUDICED AS BEING ISLAMOPHOBIC. BOTH ARE AN UNWILLINGNESS TO OBSERVE CULTURAL RELATIVISM. YOU CANNOT INVALIDATE HER LIFE SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE IS “WHITE AND PRIVILEGED.”
This blog sums up the Laci Green issue pretty well.

-John Green’s need to “check his privilege”
He is exceptionally aware of his privilege and has made MANY strides to “atone” for this. The yearly “Project for Awesome,” the nerdfigther Kiva.org team, endless videos addressing the plight of others, etc. He cannot and will not ever be anything other than a white cis-gendered heterosexual, middle/upper-middle class, successful American male. There is only so much he can do to make up for that fact. He has certainly done more than most, and is willing to keep growing and keep committing his time and effort into improving the lives of other people. I’m not entirely sure what more he is supposed to do to “check his privilege,” especially considering that he is human and imperfect. Things he says will, inevitably, be incorrect or offensive or privileged or in some other way flawed, and considering he’s very much willing to change, there’s no need to crucify him because of it.